


Personal Space

by shadowmaat



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Jess to the rescue, M/M, Snap is a goof but he means well, a little stormtrooper culture, clueless angsty dorks, minor Snap/Karé
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowmaat/pseuds/shadowmaat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I saw a prompt a while back about Finn getting teased for invading Poe's personal space and backing off as a result, much to Poe's disappointment. I can't find the prompt again, but here's my answer to it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Personal Space

It wasn’t an easy process going from the rigid conformity of the First Order to the more relaxed rules of the Resistance, but Finn was doing his best. Having Poe around was a big help. An _enormous_ help. Poe showed him around, introduced him to everyone (or at least everyone who mattered, he said), and always seemed happy to answer his questions or sort out any “cultural” confusion he had. Yes, you can take a shower for longer than 60 seconds. No, you won’t be decommissioned for taking too long to heal. No, you don’t have to salute every time you see a picture of General Organa. The idea that he was also allowed to _go back for seconds_ if he was still hungry was a revelation.

He could tell some of his questions bothered Poe, but he smiled and explained things anyway. Finn did his best to show his appreciation, not just with words, but with gestures. There was the usual- helping with chores, bringing food to him when he was busy, cleaning his gear, things like that. But he did the shoulder bumps, too. Among the troopers it was a wordless way of saying thanks to a teammate. Touching helmets was sign of trust and appreciation that dated back to before anyone could remember. Neither of them wore helmets, of course, but he touched his forehead to Poe’s and that was good enough. It _felt_ good, too. 

“Uh, Finn?” Poe had been a little uncertain the first time.

“I’m just really really glad you’re here, Poe.” He smiled.

Poe stared into his eyes and the feeling of warmth spread through him.

“Yeah, buddy,” Poe said at last. “Me too.” He clasped a hand to the back of Finn’s head, holding him there for another minute before letting go.

It was a simpler gesture now, usually just a quick touch, although sometimes it lingered. Finn was happy with it either way. Just as he was happy to adopt Poe’s gesture of slinging an arm around his shoulders or hips. Or leaning into him in the cafeteria or the weekly holofilm night. 

Troopers were discouraged from talking without reason, so they found subtler ways to communicate among the ranks. Care had to be taken there, too, because too much casual touching could get you disciplined. Or worse. Poe, at least, didn’t seem to mind it and Finn _thrived_ off it. The touches, the silent communication, they were a sign of connection and one that he hadn’t had much of even as a stormtrooper. He didn’t realize there was anything unusual about it until one morning in the mess when Snap made a joke about it. Poe and Jess were off on a recon mission so it was just Finn, Snap, Karé, and L’ulo at the table.

“No, but seriously, man,” Snap grinned. “You have, like, no concept of personal space when it comes to Dameron. It’s kinda cute!”

“Personal space?” Finn chewed and swallowed another forkful of egg substitute. “What do you mean?”

“You’re always hanging off him! Touching his arm, touching his head, holding hands…” He waggled his eyebrows.

Finn went cold. The way Snap was acting made it seem as if his behavior was unusual. He put his fork down, scrambling to think of how the others acted around each other. Snap and Karé probably didn’t count since they were dating, but other people… A quick glance around the mess hall showed that most people did avoid touching, even if they sat close. And now that he thought about it most of the people he saw on the base seemed to move in their own personal bubbles. 

It had never been a consideration in the First Order. Troopers wore their armor most of the time anyway and they were encouraged to take up as little space as possible. He’d just… failed to notice it was different here. Which was an awful oversight on his part. He was supposed to be more observant than this! He was supposed to be fitting in!

“I didn’t know I was being a problem,” he said, half to himself.

“Oh, I wouldn’t call it a problem.” Karé twirled her spoon. “I mean _Dameron_ hasn’t exactly complained, right?”

There was something suggestive about her tone, too. He felt his stomach plummet into his boots. Poe _wouldn’t_ complain, though, would he? He was too nice to tell Finn he was getting it wrong.

“Just be sure to send us an invitation to the wedding!” Snap laughed.

 _Wedding?!_ He felt his face heat and stood fast, holding his tray in a white-knuckled grip.

“Thanks for telling me,” he said. His gaze skittered past Snap’s and Karé’s to land on L’ulo’s. There was no reading the Duros’s red eyes, though. “I should go. I’ll be late.”

Finn turned and walked away, his body running on autopilot as he dumped his tray and returned it before escaping into the halls. He’d been doing things _wrong_ all this time and no one had told him. Poe had just gone along with it instead of explaining about _personal space_. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he knew what to do about it now.

When Poe finally touched down he hopped from his X-Wing and jogged to where Finn was standing, waiting as always.

“Finn! Buddy! Didja miss me?” A smile lit his face and he had his arms wide.

“Hardly noticed you were gone,” Finn said, beaming at their ritual joke. He took a half-step back to avoid the oncoming hug, reaching up to grab Poe’s elbow, instead. Poe’s forehead creased, but he mirrored the gesture, which among the troopers meant _congratulations, you made it_.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, pal.” 

A slight tug, turning them to face the hangar. Poe released him and reached up to pat his shoulder and then left his hand there, arm draped companionably across Finn’s neck. It was warm. Comforting. He felt a flutter of guilt in his stomach as he stepped aside, turning to walk backwards so he could face Poe while he talked.

“You missed all the excitement. Mister Bones got into an argument with Karé’s astromech.” He thought he caught a flicker of- of something- on Poe’s face, but then he smiled.

“Is that right? Did they find all the pieces?”

“Nah, man, the astromech _won!_ ”

It was enough to startle a laugh out of Poe. Snap’s reconditioned battle droid was notorious for its odd temper and extreme protectiveness of “Master Temmin.” Finn related the whole story as they walked to the mess and then told it again as Jess Pava joined them, demanding details. He kept a careful distance between himself and Poe at dinner and then afterwards on the walk back to his quarters. Usually he’d join Poe and they’d chat long into the night, but he was feeling weird and unsettled and just wanted to get back to his own room.

“Finn.”

“Yeah?” He looked up to find Poe studying him.

“Is everything alright? Are you… feeling OK?”

“Me? Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine!” He felt heat rushing to his face and hoped Poe couldn’t tell. “I’m just, uh, tired, is all.”

Poe rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, his expression still serious. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right? If I… did something…”

A jolt went right through him. “What? No!” He reached out and then caught himself, stepping back as he let his hand drop. The warm grip on his shoulder was gone, too. 

“No,” he repeated, “It isn’t you! I just… I’m just tired tonight, that’s all. And you probably need sleep, too,” he added, taking in the bags under Poe’s eyes and his hair, still matted from being in the helmet.

Poe gave him a searching look and sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

“I’ll see you at breakfast, okay?” He smiled.

“You bet.” A smile sparked briefly and faded again. “G’night, Finn.”

“Good night, Poe.” He turned and walked back down the hall, trying to ignore the twitch between his shoulderblades. He was almost to the intersecting corridor that led to his own room before he heard the whoosh of Poe’s door. He sighed. This should have been easy. Why wasn’t it easy?

Breakfast was even worse. Poe looked as rough as he felt and was unusually silent. He had his hands wrapped around a mug of caf and had an unfocused look. He brightened when he saw Finn, who felt his own mood lighten.

“Hey, buddy. Sleep well?” He shifted over a bit, making room.

Finn shrugged. He’d been awake for hours before dropping into a restless sleep full of uneasy dreams. “I’ve had better,” he said, taking a seat next to L’ulo.

L’ulo gave him an unfathomable look. “Your usual seat is still available,” he pointed out in his broad, almost mechanized voice.

“Yeah, I just thought I’d see what it was like over here for once.”

Poe’s face fell, making something in Finn’s chest hurt. It was nothing, he decided. He was just imagining things.

“You’re not switching teams on us, are ya, Finn?” Snap wrinkled his nose. “Not that I don’t love ya, L’ulo, but I just don’t-”

“I am well aware of your natural proclivities, Captain Wexley, and will thank you not to share them with me again.”

The others laughed, although Finn noticed that Poe was frowning down at his caf.

“And before any additional confusion is attempted,” L’ulo said, “I will point out that even if I thought Young Finn were so inclined, I am not in the habit of stealing hatchlings from the nest.”

That earned another round of laughter. Finn blinked. “Hatchling? Are you- are you saying I’m a baby?”

“Well, you do have that precious baby face!” Jess leaned over, trying to pinch his cheek, but he waved her off.

“Compared to me you have barely even cracked your shell,” L’ulo said, giving him a thin-lipped smile. 

Snap snorted. “I’m pretty sure the only one allowed to crack his shell is-”

“I have a report to write.” Poe stood. “I’ll see you later.”

Silence descended at the table as he left the mess hall, still carrying his mug. Finn’s leg twitched. He wanted to chase after him; catch him and pull him into a hug to sooth whatever was wrong, but he stayed seated.

“What’s gotten into him?” Snap muttered. “Did the mission go bad or something?”

“No.” Jess was frowning at the doorway. “Everything was green. Made the drop and got back in record time. Not even any skirmishes. Finn was the last to see him, though.”

He went taut as everyone looked at him. “I just walked him to his room. He was fine when I left. A little tired, maybe.”

The others considered that. 

“He has been overtired lately,” Karé said.

“We’re _all_ overtired. Too many missions,” Snap said. “Kriffing First Order. Uh, no offense, Finn.”

Finn shook his head. “I’d be the first to call them a bunch of bastards.” 

The conversation moved on, but Finn still felt… guilty. He wasn’t sure how Poe’s behavior could be his fault, but he was sure it was. And he didn’t know what to do about it.

The day passed in a blur of anxiety. Training kept him busy, but he saw Poe again at dinner and it was awkward. Finn moved to give his arm a casual fist bump and Poe moved out of the way, a smile still plastered on his face. 

It hurt. And it shouldn’t have, he knew that. Not touching should have been fine. Normal. In the Resistance too much touching _meant_ something and made you stand out from the crowd. Standing out could be dangerous. You might be labeled as deviant and sent for reconditioning. The Resistance might not do that, but there could be other forms of punishment. All he wanted to do was fit it. Belong. He thought he’d been doing a good job of that, but now he was having doubts. He’d never, _ever_ admit to missing the First Order, but he did miss _understanding_ things; how to act, what to do, where to go, and what things could and couldn’t be said. He’d thought he could ask Poe anything, but now he wasn’t sure. And it bothered him. Everything bothered him.

He stayed quiet. _Keep your head down and do your job, trooper. Don’t draw attention._ _Don’t let anyone get the Wrong Idea about you_ because that could get Poe in trouble, too, and that was something not to be tolerated. So he fidgeted. And paced. And worked out even more than usual. He also started losing sleep. And making mistakes. The mistakes ate at him, too, because how many was he allowed to make before he was punished?

By the end of the week he was a mess. The others teased him when he spilled his juice, throwing more napkins at him as he attempted to mop up the mess. Poe just watched him, silent. They hadn’t spoken for a few days and didn’t even walk the halls together anymore. Finn missed him and even caught himself daydreaming about leaning against Poe; holding hands; falling asleep in his bunk. He missed _being with him_ and that- that probably wasn’t a good thing.

Things were different in the Resistance, of course. Emotional connections were allowed and even people caught in _romantic entanglements_ weren’t punished. Snap and Karé were proof of that. But when it came to Poe… Well, that was different. It had to be. Especially if he tried to add himself into the equation. Besides, it wasn’t as if he liked Poe _like that_. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trouserlegs and glanced across the table at him. Poe was frowning down at his tray, pushing food around without eating it. A lock of hair had fallen across his brow and Finn’s fingers twitched with the urge to brush it back.

 _Invading his personal space_ , he reminded himself. _Giving people the wrong impression_. Although he was starting to wonder what the right impression was. His breath caught as Poe stood, moving to dump his untouched tray without a word to the others. Finn tracked him til he disappeared through the doorway and then noticed Jess was watching him. He concentrated on his own tray, blushing.

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“What?” A furtive check showed that no one else was paying attention to them. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

Jess reached across the table and caught his hand, making him blush even harder.

“He misses you, you know.”

Finn’s heard sped up. _Poe_ missed _him?_  “I- I haven’t left,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Haven’t you?”

He stared, wondering what she knew.

“Aww, look at the lovers having a heart-to-heart,” Snap said, finally noticing them.

Finn tried to yank his hand away but Jess clamped down on it, turning her head to eye Snap.

“What’s your problem, Wexley? Jealous?”

“Me? Heck no!” Snap hooked an arm around Karé, pulling her closer and causing her to miss a bite of dinner. “I already caught myself the prettiest lady here. Why would I need either of you two losers?”

“Well, actually…” Karé started.

“I _said_ we don’t need _either_ of you,” Snap said a little louder, making her grin.

“So Finn’s free to do what he wants, then?”

“Uh…” Finn hesitated, unsure what was happening. Jess squeezed his hand.

“Yeah, of course!” Snap sounded surprised. “He’s a free man, now! He can do what he wants, when he wants, and who he wants.”

“Whom,” Karé corrected.

“Who,” Snap re-corrected.

Finn looked at Jess’s raised eyebrows, his heart beating a little faster. He could tell this was important. He tried shifting the pieces in his head.

“So maybe you’ll lay off trying to hook him up with everything that moves and let him figure things out for himself?”

“Hey!” Snap brought his free hand to his chest. “I’m just trying to help! You heard L’ulo! He’s just a hatchling!”

“Please don’t involve _me_ in this,” L’ulo said, joining the conversation for the first time.

“See, Finn?” Jess grinned at him. “He’s helping!”

“I really don’t think I need any-”

“Maybe you’re the one who needs help, Pava! From this!” 

Snap caught her in a sudden bear hug, reaching up to muss her hair. She yelled at him, laughing as she tried to push him away.

All three of them were laughing, shoving at each other, and… touching. He blinked as his confusion finally cleared: they were touching. Casually. And they did it a lot; the whole group of them. Friends were allowed to touch. Friends were allowed to _exist_.

“I, uh, need to go,” he said, snatching up his tray. They barely noticed.

Once he finally made it to the halls he headed for Poe’s room. He didn’t run, but he did hurry and the few people he saw got out of his way. He got to the right door and knocked.

“Poe?”

Silence. His heart was pounding harder than the walk warranted and he was fidgeting worse than ever. He knocked again.

“Poe, are you in th-”

The door swung open and he caught his breath. Poe stood before him, shirtless and covered in a light sheen of sweat. His hair was disheveled and he seemed slightly out of breath. _Exercise bar_ , thought a distant part of his mind. _He likes working out in his room._

“Finn?” His brow was creased. “Is something wrong?”

He realized he was staring. Words tumbled through his head; all the things he should have said a week ago. The questions he should have asked. Instead he stepped forward and pulled Poe into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He felt dizzy; electrified. _This_ was what he’d been missing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand.”

Poe’s arms wrapped around him and the tightness in his chest- the tension he hadn’t even been aware of- eased. Warmth filled him. Not just from the heat of Poe’s skin, but from something deeper, more intangible.

“Hey,” Poe said, rubbing his back. “Hey, it’s okay, Finn.”

Fingers traced the scar across his back and Finn shivered. He buried his nose against Poe’s neck, breathing in the scent of soap, engine grease, and sweaty musk. He closed his eyes, murmuring another apology. 

“Whatever it is, we can talk about it, alright?” Poe’s voice was soft. “But maybe you should let me close the door before people get the wrong idea, hm?”

He tightened his hold. “ _Let them!_ ” It came out more fierce than he intended, nothing at all like Poe’s own amused tone. “Uh, I- I mean-” He loosed his arms, stepping back.

Poe caught his wrist and finished pulling him into the room, the door sliding shut behind them. Finn stared at Poe’s hand, his gaze traveling up along his arm and the contours of his muscles, flexing slightly as he maintained his hold.

“Is this alright?”

“What?” Finn blinked, frowning at him. The question didn’t make any sense. All of his thoughts seemed to have slowed down. He was here. With Poe. And they were _touching_.

“Sorry.” Poe released him and stepped back and Finn mourned the loss of contact. 

“I should get a shirt on.”

“No!” Finn took a step after him. “Uh, I mean…” He was babbling and aware of it, but he was also hyper-aware of Poe’s bare chest; the fine coating of dark hair and the soft expanse of skin. He felt himself flush hot and cold. _Oh…_ Realization hit again: maybe it wasn’t the casual bumps and brushes he missed; maybe it was specific to Poe.

“Snap said this thing earlier,” he said. “Before. And I was afraid, uh… I thought I was doing things wrong, but…”

Poe finished pulling a shirt over his head and Finn finally dragged his eyes up to see that he was grinning at him.

“Well, listening to Snap was your first mistake,” he said, sitting on his bunk. “He’ll say anything just to mess with people.” He patted the space next to him.

“Yeah.” Finn swallowed, moving closer. “I know. I mean, I realized that.”

He sat, close enough to feel the warmth but not quite touching.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Poe picked at a loose string on his shorts.

“What? I haven’t been avoiding-” 

A look from Poe had him ducking his head.

“I mean, I didn’t mean to… Snap said… I- I thought touching was bad,” he finished, realizing how weak that sounded.

Poe laughed. It was a warm, soft sound that wrapped around both of them.

“Finn, buddy, if touching was that bad do you think I’d let you get away with it?”

“No, but… but you’re too _nice!_ ” he muttered, staring down at his lap. How could he have been so stupid?

He felt a hand on his head, smoothing back until it rested on the back of his neck. It was amazing.

“I’m glad you think I’m nice, Finn, but trust me when I say that if you did anything to make me uncomfortable, I’d let you know, okay?”

He nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.

“And I hope that if I ever did anything to make _you_ uncomfortable, you’d speak up, too. Right?”

He did look up at that; straight into Poe’s eyes, looking back at him.

“I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable,” he said with a little more honesty than he’d intended. “Uh, but yeah,” he added, noting Poe’s smile.

“Good.” Poe leaned in closer.

Finn’s lips parted, but instead of- of whatever- he felt their foreheads touch. Heat shot straight down his spine, pooling in his stomach. He closed his eyes, reveling in the moment.

“This is good?”

Finn hummed, nodding. They were connected again. His mistakes were forgiven. The mess of the past week was washed away.

“Good.” Poe’s hand slid forward, cupping his cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” he murmured, mirroring the gesture. He could feel the faint start of stubble on Poe’s cheek. “A lot.”

“Back atcha, pal.”

There was a rough undercurrent to his voice that sent a thrill along Finn’s nerves. He lost track of how long they stayed like that, but at some point sitting up became lying down and the two of them were still pressed close, legs twining. It was the first time in a week that he slept well and they both woke with a smile on their face.

Whatever they had together; whatever it was becoming, at least he knew they both wanted it… and personal space didn’t matter.


End file.
